Hi again everyone. Welcome to the first entry in our three part series concerning the balancing act of motherhood and dance. Initially, I was going to write sequentially, but I’ve seen a couple of things on social media this week that I felt should be addressed, so I’ll start here.
What happens when you are a dance teacher or a studio owner with an infant or... even a toddler or young child for that matter? Do you take the baby to the studio with you and either baby-wear, put them in a bouncer or pack n' play or something of the like or leave them at home?
First off let me say I’ve done both and did so for a long time, so hopefully I can help with some objective, non-judgmental advice here. And let me start by saying some dance-Moms don’t have a choice, so-be kind.
When I had my son in April of 2015, the plan was for my Dad to watch him weekdays starting in the fall until my husband got home from work while I went back to teaching twice a week. Well, life happens as it does when you least expect it and my father passed away in August. I was left in a panic as to what I was going to do with Jackson. Both of the studios I worked at I had been for a long time and luckily they were like family and so supportive that it wasn’t a problem for me to bring Jackson. For me, financially, it wouldn’t have made sense to have hired a sitter because I’d basically be working to pay them. So I brought Jackson. And I did so for quite some time. It was a juggling act for sure, trying to feed him in between classes, making sure my students had my full attention, that I wasn’t slacking, that I was “present” for everyone. I was anxious in the beginning for sure. And exhausted, but you do what you need to do. I had the wonderful studio Moms there always offering to help out with him and older students as well and we all started to find a rhythm.
After a while though, I started to need that, “me time,” to just be a dance teacher and focus on my other love. So, my husband and I decided that we would get a sitter for one of the days. Luckily, my sitters were former students who were now young adults and professional dancers auditioning themselves- and so I always had the comfort of knowing they were in the best hands. As time went on, circumstances changed and last June my daughter came along; but by then I was in a different circumstance as my Mom had retired and moved in with us; so she was and is there to help. And what a help she is. Occasionally I bring the kids when need be but for me now, I need those few hours alone at work to get back to that part of who I am and be a dancer and a teacher.
I’ve seen some comments lately with people asking advice on this subject and saw some replies that made me pause. While I definitely agree one could argue for either point, let us remember that not everyone has an easy option. Some don’t have the financial resources to hire sitters, some don’t have the family to help out and some are doing their very best to maintain their identity as a teacher and a Mom.
So, if you are a studio owner, be clear with your faculty about whether or not you feel bringing babies/kids to work is the right logistical set up for your studio or not. There’s no wrong feeling on the subject, but be kind. Give teachers an opportunity to know that when accepting a teaching job and knowing how to family-plan accordingly. Made to feel bad that you have a need to take your baby to work doesn’t benefit anyone. We are lucky that the dance studio environment is extremely conducive to bringing kids to work but if it doesn’t work for you, be transparent and keep the lines of communication open. We all have enough stress on our plates and we’ve all been there, so let’s be there for one another as best we can.
Good luck to all the Mommies, Teachers & Directors out there. I see you! You’re all doing great!
See you in the dance studio,
Jess
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